my path.

I was looking into myself on what I was and what I’m going to. A lot of highs and several downs in my life, every day on each day that I was just me. Today I’m here to ask myself some questions about life, love, what I am now and what I was – or basically, connect the dots.

I never was the highlight on my classrooms, and I never minded of being one because one way or other, I was the nerd of the class because of my thin-black-framed glasses, and the chubby dude seating at the first row. I never was the menace to others.

I love to experiment and try things that I am not sure if they are wrong or right and even almost all those things are wrong, I still trying and I persist in doing this. I remember when I have tried to make a Brazilian high school from the suburbs start thinking about a better life. The principal just loved the idea and allowed me to start producing this that I’ve failed miserably after looking at the results. I didn’t give up, and some months later I was with a new idea of trying to change the people’s mind. Notwithstanding this was another failure, I just learned something that was not to ignore none of my fails because I was growing with them and making me a better person.

I never was good in romance. Truth has to be told: I just had one girlfriend in my whole life and had more other four opportunities that I have passed all of them because of my total ignorance. Usually, I fall in love for some close friends of mine, and I also know the why: I don’t allow myself on looking for other people when I am close to someone. One of my most intense friendships I ever had, I was deadly wrong on what I was doing. Some years later, I realized that abandoning and giving up that friendship was the best thing to do because we have started to mess convenience with passion, feelings with confusion while I was being cheated without realizing it. This time, I gave up.

Today I have another person that is following me while I am slowing walking into my path and I am not anymore that little dumb teenager making mistakes every single day. On all my life stages, I usually have one big mate. I believe that now I’m walking and teaching at the same time the last person that came into my life tree years ago to help this person find her own future path. No passion, I love this person.

Love. This is my dogma. I love that I do. I love people that trust me and I trust back. I love my close friends, and I love my failures and success. Seems that the most boastful, arrogant, and cocky guy in the world is now from villain to good guy. Unfortunately, I will continue exactly like I am but I’m slowly changing my mind every single day. Connecting the dots, I realize that my main problem is loving too much all the things that are around me, and sometimes I don’t know how to deal with them.

People don’t remain forever with us, opinions change and we might be dead by tomorrow. I want to learn fully, love fully, live fully now while connecting those dots and I walk to my path building my own story.